Priority

Submitted by: Scott Michael Ringo

She was across the room, and everything in the world drew him to her. He could not keep his eyes off her and even though there was a chance she may devastate him, he must know if her looks in his direction were for him. At first, he thought she might be looking at someone else. After several glances his way with her beautiful smile showing, he was most certain it was he she was looking at. He would give anything if only he could talk with her.

Months later after their first meeting when her smile drew him to her, they stepped down the church steps and into the car that awaited them to sweep them off to their honeymoon. Neither of them could believe the day of their wedding had arrived and they would now be able to spend the rest of life building their lives together.

It was another night alone for her, not unlike countless other nights she thought. Pieces of the life they started were scattered about, and she wondered if it would all fit together again. Surely everything was all right, and after just a little more time they would once again be in perfect bliss. But still she wondered.

How many times around the world is this scene rehearsed daily? Once, would be too many. However, thousands and thousands of people live in abandonment, while their spouse stays trapped in a vicious cycle of busyness. In marriage, nothing is more unnatural than for a spouse to rate lower than anything but to God. God made it that way for an incredible reason. Two married people are one person, as Adam said, "She is part of my own flesh and bone..."(Genesis 2:23) Yet it is common for spouses to abandon their own flesh and bone by disconnecting daily, emotionally and physically from their spouses.

God says it like this:

"And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word...In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for His body, the church." (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29)

God wants and requires us to always put Him first in our lives. But then directly after Him, if married, a spouse is the next priority. Nothing should take the place of a spouse- not a job, hobby, or even ministry to others. Throughout His word, God is clear about the order of our priorities. In Ephesians, God compares the priority a spouse is to the priority the Church is to Christ. God places value on ministry to others and requires it from us, but never before ministry to a person's spouse.

Care and love (ministry) to a husband or wife is first and chief in a person's life. A husband or wife should never be less than second priority in life. The only person more important to a husband or wife in their life is God. More often than not, a person's wife or husband takes a lower priority in many ministry leaders lives, and families suffer great effects from it. It is easy for us to see the negative impact that a workaholic professional's family suffers; however, we tolerate a person's life when they are driven in ministry. We see justification in their life of service, while their family suffers as much pain as the workaholic professional's.

Those involved in ministry should have the greatest marriages and closest families. Many times those involved in ministry are pulled by the demands of those they minister to and their family suffers. There is justification that "service to God" means putting family second and is part of the sacrifice a ministry person must make.

Paul warned, "...An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking how to please Him. But a married man can't do that so well. He has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. His interests are divided." (I Corinthians 7:32-34) Paul continues with the same advice for women that when married their responsibilities are to their husband first.

My Challenge To Us
Whether married or not, God is clear about the structure of our priorities and He is always to remain first. Second, service to others is to be the next priority. However, if married, the second priority is to be a person's spouse. Often once a person marries they forget to make the vital switch in priorities. Now instead of others being first importance in their life their spouse must hold that place. Though the married unit is two independent people, spiritually and in God's mysterious ways, they are one and the same. God loved the human race so much that He sent Jesus to live on earth for 33 years and die for her. In the same manner, married couples are to abandon everything for each other. This means literally "dying" to everything else, even ministry, to minister to each other first. If you are married, ask yourself if these priorities are in place in your marriage. If you are single, make a mental note to remember to make the vital switch in priorities on your wedding day.
 
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